Watak Fiksyen

Aku mahu bunuh watak fiksyen.

Aku mahu bunuh watak Peter Parker, Mary Jane, Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthur, Naruto, Ichigo, Monkey D Luffy, Yagami Light, Bruce Banner, Barbara Gordon, Clark Kent/Superman, Shikamaru Nara,Lois Lane, Hellboy, Kermit the Frog, Barney Stinson, Hermione Granger, Dr. Doom, Ayanami Rei, Squall Leonhart, Boba Fett, The Flash, Dorothy Gale (The Wizard of Oz), Alice, Magneto, Calvin, Samwise Gamgee, Hercules, Deadpool, Eric Cartman (South Park), Tarzan, Catwoman, Yuna Braska (Final Fantasy X), Aquaman, Yoda, Optimus Prime, Mickey Mouse, Bilbo Baggins, Dr. Gregory House, Green Lantern, Bugs Bunny, Solid Snake, Cloud Strife, Iron Man, Mario, Severus Snape, Gandalf, Joker, Aragorn, Robin Hood, Wolverine, Frodo Baggins, Homer Simpson, Frankenstein’s Monster, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Analkin Skywalker, James Bond, Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Spiderman, The Doctor (Doctor Who).

Senang cerita, aku nak bunuh semua watak fiksyen. Atau kata lain, Bunuh fantasi. Biar tinggal realiti. Barulah semua orang tak buleh lari dunia realiti. Ya. Realiti sucks. Tapi itu yang kita hadapi.

Dan akhir sekali, aku mahu bunuh watak 'Darkk'. Watak utama dalam segala-segalanya. Untuk aku.

Sivaji and the Chocolate Cadbury

Sivaji : "Mommy, i want Cadbury chocolate."

Mommy : "Hold on honey (grab an umbrella, taunting at Sivaji, with a smile on her face). Next time don't wish for something we can't afford. Samje?"

Sivaji : "Ok Mommy. I won't. Promise. Please don't play with umbrella in the streets. I'm embarrass when they say my mom is crazy."

Mommy : "That's ok honey. You don't have to be ashamed to have a crazy mother. Everyone does."

Sivaji : "Ok. Can i.."

Mommy : "Now shut up and let's go home. Stop whatever you're thinking right now. You don't have a brain. Didn't you know that?" (while picking her nose)

Sivaji : "Yeah, i guess." (sullen face expression)

So they walked home leaving the candy shop at the streets. The candy shop's owner already standby with a Double-Barrel Pump Gun just in case both mother and son enter the shop. Luckily they don't.

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One day, without his mom's approval, Sivaji go to the candy shop and buy a Cadbury chocolate. Sivaji walked out from the shop with a happy face. While in the shop, the owner was heavily wounded, on the floor soaked with his own blood.

Carefully Sivaji enter the house, didn't want his mom to notice him bought a Cadbury chocolate.

Granpa : "Oppode! Hi Sivaji. What's in your hand?"(while watching Fantasy Academy)

Sivaji : "Oh, hi Granpa. Oppode. It's nothing."(hiding his chocolate)

Granpa : "Give it to me. I love to have nothing with me. Come on, give it to me."

Sivaji : "Well, actually it's not nothing. It's something."

Granpa : "Oh crap. I don't like something."

Granma : "So give it to me then. I love to have something with me."

Sivaji : "Oh god."

Granpa : "Since when did you pray? I never teach my descendant to pray."

Mommy : "Well well well. What do we have here(grabbing the chocolate from Sivaji). Didn't i've told you before, NO CHOCOLATE, NO CHOCOLATE! Why can't you even listen to me?"

Sivaji : "But Mommy.."

Mommy : "Don't but Mommy you butt. I've told you quadrillions time. You. Cannot. Eat. A. Chocolate. In. This. House. Samje? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?" (making superb-annoying face)

Then Mommy get out from the house taking along the chocolate. Sivaji' couldn't take this. He want the chocolate so much. He even collect his own money to buy it. He didn't eat at school. Just to collect money to buy Cadbury Chocolate.

Sivaji chased his Mommy to outside the house.

Mommy : "OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM...............What?"

Sivaji : "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...."

-The End-

-Of The World-

Manakala di Tempat Lain;

Hujan turun dengan lebat sekali pada pukul 3.43 petang. Hari Sabtu. Hari ketika ramai orang kerajaan bercuti. Amar pun orang kerajaan. Jadi dia cuti juga pada waktu itu. Tapi, Amar tak da gelfen. Dia tak gay. Maka dia juga tiada boifen. Lalu dia golek-golek kebosanan di atas katil bujangnya dan pada hemat dia, dia mahu tidur kembali. Kalau diikutkan, Amar baru sahaja tidur untuk 10 jam.

Amar pandang kipas siling . Kipas siling pandang Amar. Tapi tak ada panahan cinta antara Amar dan kipas siling itu. Makin lama, Mata Amar makin berat. Makin lama, makin berat. Amar mengalah. Amar kembali tidur untuk kesekian kalinya.

Dan untuk kesekian kalinya juga, Amar bermimpi bidadari. Selama ini bermimpi, Amar tak pernah tahu nama bidadari itu. Dan buat kali pertama juga, Bidadari itu memberitahu namanya kepada Amar.

"Nama I Shelly" beritahu Bidadari. "Nama you?"

"Oh. Shelly. Sedap nama you. Macam jeli. Nama I Akahash" tipu Amar. Tipunya bersebab. Sebab mahu ada status tinggi. Supaya tidak dipandang hina bidadari bernama Shelly itu.

"Ah. Tipu lah Akahash. I tengok muka you pun I dah tahu nama you Amar. Lagi pula, nametag kat baju you tulis Amar" cerita Shelly. Muka Shelly kiut. Macam orang kiut.

"Oh. Maaf. Maafkan I, Shelly. I kadang-kadang konfius dengan nama I. Nama sebetul I Akashah." sambung tipu Amar kembali.

Amar mula meletakkan tangan di atas meja. Meja yang entah dari mana-mana datang. Tapi Amar tak peduli. Tangannya harus lah diletakkan di atas meja. Baru lah nampak kewl. Baru la seiring dengan nama tipunya, Akashah. Letak tangan atas meja. Kewl. Itu misi Amar sekarang.

Manakala di tempat lain;

Panggilan Telefon Makwe-Makwe

Makwe-makwe selalu telefon masa gua tengah bizi. Nasib baik lah gua ini jenis yang mengutamakan makwe-makwe.

"Hello. Ye babeh. You nak apa?" kata gua.

"I dahagakan cinta you!" makwe itu balas.

Terus gua letak telefon. Sambung bizi gua.

Makwe-makwe selalu telefon masa gua tengah bizi. Nasib baik lah gua ini jenis yang mengutamakan makwe-makwe. Tapi kalu pesen gersang tak bertempat, memang gua tak layan.