Watak Fiksyen

Aku mahu bunuh watak fiksyen.

Aku mahu bunuh watak Peter Parker, Mary Jane, Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthur, Naruto, Ichigo, Monkey D Luffy, Yagami Light, Bruce Banner, Barbara Gordon, Clark Kent/Superman, Shikamaru Nara,Lois Lane, Hellboy, Kermit the Frog, Barney Stinson, Hermione Granger, Dr. Doom, Ayanami Rei, Squall Leonhart, Boba Fett, The Flash, Dorothy Gale (The Wizard of Oz), Alice, Magneto, Calvin, Samwise Gamgee, Hercules, Deadpool, Eric Cartman (South Park), Tarzan, Catwoman, Yuna Braska (Final Fantasy X), Aquaman, Yoda, Optimus Prime, Mickey Mouse, Bilbo Baggins, Dr. Gregory House, Green Lantern, Bugs Bunny, Solid Snake, Cloud Strife, Iron Man, Mario, Severus Snape, Gandalf, Joker, Aragorn, Robin Hood, Wolverine, Frodo Baggins, Homer Simpson, Frankenstein’s Monster, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Analkin Skywalker, James Bond, Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Spiderman, The Doctor (Doctor Who).

Senang cerita, aku nak bunuh semua watak fiksyen. Atau kata lain, Bunuh fantasi. Biar tinggal realiti. Barulah semua orang tak buleh lari dunia realiti. Ya. Realiti sucks. Tapi itu yang kita hadapi.

Dan akhir sekali, aku mahu bunuh watak 'Darkk'. Watak utama dalam segala-segalanya. Untuk aku.

Sivaji and the Chocolate Cadbury

Sivaji : "Mommy, i want Cadbury chocolate."

Mommy : "Hold on honey (grab an umbrella, taunting at Sivaji, with a smile on her face). Next time don't wish for something we can't afford. Samje?"

Sivaji : "Ok Mommy. I won't. Promise. Please don't play with umbrella in the streets. I'm embarrass when they say my mom is crazy."

Mommy : "That's ok honey. You don't have to be ashamed to have a crazy mother. Everyone does."

Sivaji : "Ok. Can i.."

Mommy : "Now shut up and let's go home. Stop whatever you're thinking right now. You don't have a brain. Didn't you know that?" (while picking her nose)

Sivaji : "Yeah, i guess." (sullen face expression)

So they walked home leaving the candy shop at the streets. The candy shop's owner already standby with a Double-Barrel Pump Gun just in case both mother and son enter the shop. Luckily they don't.

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One day, without his mom's approval, Sivaji go to the candy shop and buy a Cadbury chocolate. Sivaji walked out from the shop with a happy face. While in the shop, the owner was heavily wounded, on the floor soaked with his own blood.

Carefully Sivaji enter the house, didn't want his mom to notice him bought a Cadbury chocolate.

Granpa : "Oppode! Hi Sivaji. What's in your hand?"(while watching Fantasy Academy)

Sivaji : "Oh, hi Granpa. Oppode. It's nothing."(hiding his chocolate)

Granpa : "Give it to me. I love to have nothing with me. Come on, give it to me."

Sivaji : "Well, actually it's not nothing. It's something."

Granpa : "Oh crap. I don't like something."

Granma : "So give it to me then. I love to have something with me."

Sivaji : "Oh god."

Granpa : "Since when did you pray? I never teach my descendant to pray."

Mommy : "Well well well. What do we have here(grabbing the chocolate from Sivaji). Didn't i've told you before, NO CHOCOLATE, NO CHOCOLATE! Why can't you even listen to me?"

Sivaji : "But Mommy.."

Mommy : "Don't but Mommy you butt. I've told you quadrillions time. You. Cannot. Eat. A. Chocolate. In. This. House. Samje? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?" (making superb-annoying face)

Then Mommy get out from the house taking along the chocolate. Sivaji' couldn't take this. He want the chocolate so much. He even collect his own money to buy it. He didn't eat at school. Just to collect money to buy Cadbury Chocolate.

Sivaji chased his Mommy to outside the house.

Mommy : "OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM...............What?"

Sivaji : "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...."

-The End-

-Of The World-

Manakala di Tempat Lain;

Hujan turun dengan lebat sekali pada pukul 3.43 petang. Hari Sabtu. Hari ketika ramai orang kerajaan bercuti. Amar pun orang kerajaan. Jadi dia cuti juga pada waktu itu. Tapi, Amar tak da gelfen. Dia tak gay. Maka dia juga tiada boifen. Lalu dia golek-golek kebosanan di atas katil bujangnya dan pada hemat dia, dia mahu tidur kembali. Kalau diikutkan, Amar baru sahaja tidur untuk 10 jam.

Amar pandang kipas siling . Kipas siling pandang Amar. Tapi tak ada panahan cinta antara Amar dan kipas siling itu. Makin lama, Mata Amar makin berat. Makin lama, makin berat. Amar mengalah. Amar kembali tidur untuk kesekian kalinya.

Dan untuk kesekian kalinya juga, Amar bermimpi bidadari. Selama ini bermimpi, Amar tak pernah tahu nama bidadari itu. Dan buat kali pertama juga, Bidadari itu memberitahu namanya kepada Amar.

"Nama I Shelly" beritahu Bidadari. "Nama you?"

"Oh. Shelly. Sedap nama you. Macam jeli. Nama I Akahash" tipu Amar. Tipunya bersebab. Sebab mahu ada status tinggi. Supaya tidak dipandang hina bidadari bernama Shelly itu.

"Ah. Tipu lah Akahash. I tengok muka you pun I dah tahu nama you Amar. Lagi pula, nametag kat baju you tulis Amar" cerita Shelly. Muka Shelly kiut. Macam orang kiut.

"Oh. Maaf. Maafkan I, Shelly. I kadang-kadang konfius dengan nama I. Nama sebetul I Akashah." sambung tipu Amar kembali.

Amar mula meletakkan tangan di atas meja. Meja yang entah dari mana-mana datang. Tapi Amar tak peduli. Tangannya harus lah diletakkan di atas meja. Baru lah nampak kewl. Baru la seiring dengan nama tipunya, Akashah. Letak tangan atas meja. Kewl. Itu misi Amar sekarang.

Manakala di tempat lain;

Panggilan Telefon Makwe-Makwe

Makwe-makwe selalu telefon masa gua tengah bizi. Nasib baik lah gua ini jenis yang mengutamakan makwe-makwe.

"Hello. Ye babeh. You nak apa?" kata gua.

"I dahagakan cinta you!" makwe itu balas.

Terus gua letak telefon. Sambung bizi gua.

Makwe-makwe selalu telefon masa gua tengah bizi. Nasib baik lah gua ini jenis yang mengutamakan makwe-makwe. Tapi kalu pesen gersang tak bertempat, memang gua tak layan.

Snorkel di Awan Biru

Katanya, dia mahu snorkel di awan biru. Katanya lagi, di awan biru. Ada batu karang terbang statik, ada kucing terbang, ada ikan terbang, ada pari terbang, ada siput terbang, ada singa laut terbang, ada kuda laut terbang, ada.. ada.. ada lah yang semua terbang-terbang. Tak ingat dah, dia kata.

Aku sengih.

"Berapa bayaran sekali snorkel?"

"Entah lah.. Hari tu pergi bawah sempena kem motivasi sekolah. Jadi sekali sekolah yang bayarkan" Jawab dia sambil usik-usik gogle yang baru dia beli. Jenama ternama katanya. Mahal juga.

Aku sengih lagi. Kali ini, aku sengih panjang. Aku tak mahu punahkan harapan dia. Aku harap dia sedar yang awan bukannya biru. Langit yang biru. Jadi, bagaimana mahu snorkel di awan biru. Dah jadi satu kerja nak merantau di langit tercari-cari awan biru. Kalau aku rasa payah sangat, aku buat-buat lupa akan hal ini. Kalau dia merajuk, aku belikan batu permata atau cincin delima mata naga.

Ya. Mudah. Memang mudah.

Earth Hour, Blog, Fesbuk, Twitter dan Saya

Lately, saya rasa blogging ini dah tak hip dah macam dulu. Kalu dulu, kemain lagi tulis berpatah-patah kata ayat, berperenggan renggan. Sekarang, tak sampai 5 patah kata. Yang lebih yang ayat kopi paste. Nak update bukan main liat. Sebulan sekali. Atau sebulan dua kali. Itu atas mood lah.

Mungkin blogging ini dah ramai sangat orang buat, itu pasal saya rasa tak hip. Dan ramai juga yang dah kurang blogging buat saya rasa down nak menulis. Itu belum campur blogwalking lagi. Banyak sangat blog yang tak berkualiti sekarang. Semua cerita pasal mekap. Beli tepung mekap. Kengkawan dia. Hello. Saya tak kenal kawan awak. Tapi kalu awak kenalkan, eg. kasi link ke blog kawan awak ke, atau fesbuk kawan awak ke. Takpe lah jugak. Buleh saya pantas ke sana atau add kawan awak tu dalam fesbuk saya. Ini tidak. Duk tunjuk gambau je. terliur la saya. Ingat senang ke menahan perasaan menonton awek tapi tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa. Tensen tahu. Tensen.

Oleh itu saya banyak menghabiskan masa di fesbuk. Fesbuk pun ada suka dan keji dia jugak. Macam contoh. Di dunia luar, dia nampak macam baik. Tapi bila di fesbuk, status dia. Status benci. Aok tahu macam mana status benci tu? Sikit-sikit mengeluh pasal hidup. 5 minit selang, mengeluh lagi. Tak termasuk kaki update seminit dua sekali. Nak berok kabor, nak makan kabor, nak mandi kabor, nak tido kabor, silap-silap tengah mimpi pun kabor jugok. contoh; "Saya sedang bermimpi Maya Karim tidak berbaju. Aok mimpi ape? Misti tak best macam mimpi saya" - Status fesbuk. Lama-lama orang yang kita kenal di real life, kita jadi menyampah dengan dia. Itu yang tak best. Status la berpada-pada. Ha. Itu pro dan con dia. Yang pro, tak soh cakap ler. Banyak. Seperti awek cun tegur, mengutuk rakan sebaya, kongsi berita best kepada orang lain dan lain-lain.

Di samping fesbuk, saya jugak meluangkan masa di twitter. Twitter adalah tempat meroyan saya. Kalu di fesbuk, kena tulis status dua hari sekali, atau tiga hari sekali. Twitter adalah tempat saya meroyan sejam sekali, atau lebih. Lagi pula, berita yang disampaikan melalui twitter amat lah lagi laju dari fesbuk, emel dan mesej sms. Memang dia berbunyi twit twit. pasal saya set kalu ada mention saya dia berbunyi. Mention tu apa? Mention tu macam reply lah. Saya meroyan di twitter, orang pun tanye kenapa. dia nak reply kena mention saya. Kalu tak mention, memang saya buat dunno la. Sekarang ada trend main twitter tak mention. Macam celaka. Nak mention kena tahu twitter handle. Twitter handle tu apa pulak? Kira macam id saya lah. id saya ialah @darkkadabra Memula saya letak @darkkavakadara. tapi panjang sangat. tak puas nak taip twit. Twitter buleh tulis dalam 140 askara je. askara tu tak tahu apa? kira macam ruang lah. space pun dia kira satu. Nak belajar guna? Tak payah la. Nanti kamu kata tak fun.

Apasal apa tak fun? Pasal tak de orang nak baca twit kamu mula-mula. Takde follower. Saya lain lah. Ada lebih kurang 250 follower. Pengikut setia. Tapi bukan menganut agama saya. Bukan. Saya no ayah pin. Saya orang biasa je. Yang saya follow, sikit je. Dulu banyak lah. Tapi unfollow sebab banyak meroyan pasal cinta la, loneli la. Jual emas lah. Nak bawak awek dating la. Candle lite dinner lah. Lalu saya unfollow. Saya follow makwe, nerd, geek, gamer, techo savvy dan rakan taulan yang paham apa itu sarcasm.

Sebut pasal sarcasm. Ah. Nanti lah saya cerita pasal ni. Dah panjang sangat. Awak bukan nye baca panjang-panjang gini.

Oh ye. Sebut pasal sarcasm. Teringat pulak saya pasal Earth Hour. Jam Bumi.

Saya tak buat apa-apa. Tak tutup lampu, tak tutup pc. tak tutup kipas. Dan saya rasa okay. Pasal hari Sabtu kan hari tanpa beg plastik. Cukup la saya berkorban satu aje. Iaitu beg plastik. Tak payah berkorban banyak-banyak. Lain kali buat lah Earth Hour hari lain.

Konklusinya, saya mahu mengingatkan orang lain bahawa blogging ini fun. Kalu kontent menarik. Yang tak fun nya kalu cerita pasal life sendiri sangat. Tulis lah general sikit. Tak pun kalu tak buleh jugak, tulis blog pesen kelakar macam akak Tasek. Dengar cerita sekarang dia dengan dumbell macam tak buleh berpisah. Lepas makan je kasi sepam dumbbell.

Esok pulak saya sambung, kalu saya tak bizi macam perdana menteri Italy yang sibuk di mahkamah dengan kes buat seks dengan budak perempuan bawah umur. Orang macam tu punya scandal pun tak letak jawatan lagi. Apatah lagi Anwar yang dituduh gay dan kaki perempuan pada masa yang sama. Ah. Kalu dah cerita memang lambat lah nak berhenti ye dok?

Bai.

Pray For Japan

Yes. Please do.

Update semata-mata untuk ini.

Oh ya. Jumpa kisah tweet yang menyentuh hati di internet bagaimana tertip dan teraturnya rakyat jepun walaupun dilanda musibah. Yes. I do cry.

**********

At Tokyo Disneyland:

Tokyo Disneyland was handing out its shops’ food and drinks for free to the stranded people nearby. I saw a bunch of snobby looking highschool girls walking away with large portions of it and initially though “What the …” But I later I found out they were taking them to the families with little children at emergency evacuation areas. Very perceptive of them, and a very kind thing to do indeed.

Reminded of the goodness of the Japanese people

This earthquake has reminded me of that Japanese goodness that had recently become harder and harder to see. Today I see no crime or looting: I am reminded once again of the good Japanese spirit of helping one another, of propriety, and of gentleness. I had recently begun to regard my modern countrymen as cold people … but this earthquake has revived and given back to all of us the spirit of “kizuna” (bond, trust, sharing, the human connection). I am very touched. I am brought to tears.

Card board boxes, Thank you!

It was cold and I was getting very weary waiting forever for the train to come. Some homeless people saw me, gave me some of their own cardboard boxes and saying “you’ll be warmer if you sit on these!” I have always walked by homeless people pretending I didn’t see them, and yet here they were offering me warmth. Such warm people.

BBC Reports

The words of BBC’s reports are so moving they make me cry. They were praising us with words of admiration! “One of the worst earthquakes in recorded history has hit the world’s most well-prepared, well-trained nations. The strength of its government and its people are put to the test. While there have been casualties, in no other country could the government and the people have worked together in such an accurate and coordinated way in the face of such tragedy. The Japanese people have shown their cultural ability to remain calm in the face of adversity.”

Japanese people don’t shove

I'm looking at Yurakucho station from above. I see people standing in line, not pushing or shoving to get onto the Yamanote Line (probably the busiest line in central Tokyo), even at a time like this

Japan is a wonderful nation!

Both the government and the people, everyone is helping one another today. There are truck drivers helping evacuees move. I even heard that the “yakuza” (gangsters, organized crime groups) are helping to direct traffic in the Tohoku region! There have been many recent developments that have made me lose my sense of pride in my country, but not anymore. Japan is an amazing place! I’m just simply touched. Go Japan!

Gotenba traffic

Japan is really something! Yesterday, not a single traffic light was functioning in Gotenba City. But drivers knew to take turns at intersections and give way to others when needed. Local people were using flags to direct traffic at intersections. I drove for 9 hours but never saw a single car trying to get in front of another. Every single driver on the road contributed to the traffic situation and as a result there was no confusion at all.

“All of us”

I spoke with an old taxi driver and some elderly staff at the train stations. All of them had been working non-stop and had not been able to go home for a long time. They were visibly very tired, but never once did they show any sign of impatience; they were gentle and very caring. They told me “… because all of us are in this together.” I was touched at what the notion of “all of us” meant to these elderly people. It is a value I will treasure and carry on to my generation.

More stories, visit here. Semua dicopypaste dari sana - Japan Quake as Seen from Twitter

Konklusi; They think for others.